Half Meguca: Full Noir Consequences

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Fanfic Info
Title Half Meguca: Full Noir Consequences
Genres Action, Comedy
Author Attarou
Timeline Unknown
Canonicity Status Very, VERY Non-canon
Completion Status Complete


A shameless ripoff of Half-Life: Full Life Consequences that was completed with minimum effort.

Half Meguca: Full Noir Consequences[edit]

Half Meguca : Full noir Consequences

Chiaki Matsuda who liked Tomoe Mamis pancakes was passed out behind a building holding a bottle of kong. She got a call from mami that said that wiches and megucas were attacking her place and shooted at her for help so she went.

Chiaki Matsuda threw way her bottle and wet on the ladder to go up to the roof of the building where she left her mig and maid close because she was in her magical girl uniform. Chiaki Matsuda got in her mig and said "its time for me to live up to my name and face full noir consequences" so she had to go.

Chiaki Matsuda flew off the building and did a dive and flew. She kept flying thru the sky and made sure there was no monsters around because she couldnt shoot and fly.

The countryside was nice and the roses were singing and the bears and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for Chiaki Matsudas quest to help mami where she was. Chiaki Matsuda looked around the plane and said "its a good day to eat pancakes and help mami defeat the enemys".

Chiaki Matsuda was late so she had to fly really fast. A pilot was hiden in the back seat so when Chiaki Matsuda did a spin and woke him up the pilot aksed her to drop him off. Here Chiaki Matsuda saw the first monster because the pilot was posessed and was familiar.

"I cant drop you of pilot" Chiaki Matsuda said

"Why not?" said the wichs famliar back to Chiaki Matsuda.

"Because you are wichs familiar" so Chiaki Matsuda shot the pilot in the head and flew off thinking "my mami is in trouble there" and went faster.

Chiaki Matsuda had to go faster than the speed of sound and got there fast because Mami needed her where she was. Chiaki Matsuda looked at the maps and saw "Varrigan City" with someons writing under it saying "ths place is dildos" so Chiaki Matsuda almost turned around but heard screaming like Mami so she went faster again.

Chiaki Matsuda flew in and did another dive n jumped out her mig and the mig took out some wichs familiars infront of Chiaki Matsuda. Chiaki Matsuda hairfliped and walked fast. Chiaki Matsuda then looked in her shield and found wepon so she pickd it up and fired fast at rayth wich in front of a house.

Chiaki Matsuda said "Rayth wich leave this place" and the rayth wich said "but this was my house" and Chiaki Matsuda felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were rayth wich so she blew up the house and killed the rayth wich so it was at piece.

Then Chiaki Matsuda herd another scream from mami so she kept walking really faster to get where she was. Vargan City was nothing like the countrysides there were no bears singing and the hoses were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from familiars.

When Chiaki Matsuda got to where the screaming was started from she found her Tohoe Mami fightin the evil meguca and Mami said "Chiaki Chan! Over here!" so Chiaki Matsuda went there to where Tomoe Mami was fighting. Chiaki Matsuda fired her bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the meguca in the eyes and the meguca couldnt see.

Chiaki Matsuda said "gokigenyo motherfukers!" and punched the meguca in the soul gem and the the meguca fell. Chiaki Matsuda said "thanks I could help, Mumi" and Tomoe Mami said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.

The laughed overed quickly though because Chiaki Matsuda yelled "LOOK OUT MAMI!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Tomoe Mami looked up and said "NOO! Chiaki Chan run out of here fast as you can!" and Chiaki Matsuda got throwed real fast out.

Chiaki Matsuda loked back and saw Tomoe Mami get stepped on by the walpergsnight and she was mad and angry.

"Get fucked evil wallpergisnight!" Chiaki Matsuda yelled at the top of lungs.

to be continued..?

Half Meguca: Full Noir Consequences 2: What Has Tobe Done[edit]

Half-Meguca: Full-noir Consequences 2: What Has Tobe Done

Chiaki Matsuda walked like speed of light back to her mig and left behind the bad place behind her. Chiaki Matsuda had to fly her mig really fast back to the officio but Chiaki Matsudas fuel ran out. Chiaki Matsuda jumped fast out of the mig and landed on big metal hands.

"Yuu Kotarou is now these hands... i must kill the walpergisnacht and live up to full-noir consequences!" Chiaki Matsuda muttered out loud.

Chiaki Matsuda picked up a desert eagle and aimed it at trees to see if she could. Chiaki Matsuda shot and tree fell down in front of her. Chiaki Matsuda seen that cat fall out of the tree and she crushed her in a handshake.

"That fucking cat doesnt have to see Tomoe Mami yet. its not time." Chiaki Matsuda said to her.

Chiaki Matsuda had to walked faster and was back at her officio work and on a computer. She looked on the internet and found the walspergsnight.

"I know its weakness now" Chiaki Matsuda said. And after that she got emails from someone. Chiaki Matsuda opened up the emails and read them.

"Dear Murderface, how are you? I miss you at officio come home safe and soon with Tomoe Mami and we'll get shitfaced. From kyoko." Chiaki Matsuda looked at it and got sad and groweled "I WILL KILL THE WALPSTERGNAGHT AND TOMOE MAMI WILL BE HAPPY SOUL GEM!" then she turned on off the computer and wet on the ladder again down to her other more faster mig that had fuel in it this time.

Chiaki Matsuda put the dessert eagle in her shield and her arrow gun and her rocket gun that she took from the jsdf. She went through sky and went fast like lit to back to Varrigan City and back to the dildos place where Tomoe Mami was. Chiaki Matsuda dropped out of sky and did a bombing run and returnd to clouds but kept going too.

Chiaki Matsuda went really fast again like before and was soon back again at Varrigan City but saw more rayth wichs. Chiaki Matsuda said to them "Rayth wichs i have killed your friends at the old house and i want to shoot your kneecaps. move near the countrysides and you will be ally of Chiaki Matsuda." The rayth wichs said "huehuehuehuehue" and floatd fast to Chiaki Matsudas mig. Chiaki Matsuda waited until they were in front of her mig and dropped out of cockpit and shot heads below and landed and walked fast to where the wallpapersnacht was.

"you will be one of us!" yelled the dead wichs. Chiaki Matsuda chuckld and shot a rocket at them.

Chiaki Matsuda saw the wellsfargognat far down the road and walked slow this time. She walked really slow like taro and sat behind a gantry and watched the wisperernit near the dead meguca and where the place that Tomoe Mami was. The whalepugilistrights was laughing at Chiaki Matsuda so Chiaki Matsuda said "FUCK YOU!" and shot a arrow at her since that was her weakness.

The cucumberlights died and Chiaki Matsuda was almost happy. Shee walked over to the dead bodies and put them in her sheild and knitted hats for them so instead of messy blood and brain there was wooly things there now to be pretty.

Chiaki Matsuda walked to where Tomoe Mami was lying dead and crushed from the esperantoplightss feet and looked down. A tear droped out of Chiaki Matsudas eye and landed on Tomoe Mami.

"You are dead mumi and i killed the evil wich." Chiaki Matsuda told Tomoe Mami

Then Chiaki Matsuda saw something bad. A wichs kiss was on Tomoe Mami! Tomoe Mami standed up and said "Chiaki Matsuda... you got here slow and now i am wichs familiar. i wont forgiv you..."

to be continued...?

Half Meguca: Burger Beggining[edit]

Half-Meguca: Burger Beggining

In the future the world was dark and scarry. One day Incubators came and noone knew why. Incubators were cat things that werent cats with ugly faces and sometimes glowing eyes and slaved girls in the city

and made them angry and sad.Wendy Cooldown who was living in the city and with her warmaster said "the fuck is this" and she said "Wendy Cooldown Incubators are from science and outter space and hate murica."

Wendy Cooldown realy hated Incubators because they contracted every one and Wendy Cooldown hated it. "why are they being dildos to that girl!" Wendy Cooldown said to her warmaster. "Because she is humen Wendy Cooldown, and they are evil Incubators" Wendy Cooldowns warmaster said back.

"Hey you Incubators stop making her contract you dickbutts!" Wendy Cooldown growled loud at them. "I don't understand!" the Incubators said and aimed there ears at Wendy Cooldown's soul gim. "Incubators dont aim your ears!" yelled warmaster then the Incubators hurt her her and laughed "Dumb bich rolling on the ground" they said with their minds.

Wendy Cooldown grabed her warmasters hand and said "warmaster you were bugfuck crazy and the Incubators will pay." "Wendy Cooldown no get out of here fast as you can..." Wendy Cooldowns warmaster said and past out. Then Wendy Cooldown grabbed a wepon and stabbed the Incubators in the face and said "this is not over."

The people around Wendy Cooldown were cautiously optimistic and said "good job Vomit Girl we hate those Incubators!" Incubators made people fraid and when Wendy Cooldown killed them it gave them hop.

"Incubators we are not scarred no more!" said Wendy Cooldown and every one around Wendy Cooldown said "YEAH!" and grabbed assalt rifles and rocks. Wendy Cooldown and the people skulked fast like

rolls of fat and went towards to the Incubator tower that was big like the sky.

"Where do you meguca think you are going?" a big Incubator army with lots of robots said.

"To send you shitlords back to science and outter space!" Wendy Cooldown mumbled with mad "FUCK THEM UP!" Wendy Cooldown mumbled again.

The war was going and blowing things up when Wendy Cooldown saw a golden gun on the ground. "Incubators it is time to do what has to be done so I can read more mangas" Wendy Cooldown wispered with head down.

The Incubators were tortring megucas and steping on them with robots and people were shooting machin guns back and killing them sometimes. Explosions like 10 times of the sun went around Wendy Cooldown but Wendy Cooldown didnt care.

"These fuckers is losing and I need to help" Wendy Cooldown said. Then a big plamsa came down and melt a guys arm off and legs and head and killed other people too.

Wendy Cooldown saw the dead going on all around. The Incubators were to strong and dickish but Wendy Cooldown didnt care neither. Wendy Cooldown put the golden gun on and started to shoot robots and at buildings. The bildings fell and made dust and smoke and blinded Incubators so Wendy Cooldown culd use the golden gun to shoot them in their face really hard and make them dead.

The people were wining but then glowing things went in the sky and Incubators came out. "Wendy Cooldown we have to go out of here!" a meguca said to Wendy Cooldown. "No they are all every where!" another meguca said.

"You bitches is surrounded" the Incubator said.

Wendy Cooldown lookd around. Incubators with evil megucas were there. Wendy Cooldown knew if humens lost now it would be sad for ever.

"FUCK" Wendy Cooldown yelled.

People runned toward the Incubators to kill them and the Incubators were going to kill all the people in a second when a brite light came in teh sky. A shiny thing like the sun came from opend in the sky and a girl came out.

"Incubators leave my waifu alone" Chiaki Matsuda said.

to be continued...?

Half Meguca: Full Noir Consequences: Cool Down[edit]

Half-Meguca Full-noir Consequences: Cool Down

Chiaki Matsuda hairfliped out of the sky and landed besides Wendy Cooldown. Wendy Cooldown looked at Chiaki Matsuda in the eyes and sigh falled out and growl "Kong Midori is dead". Chiaki Matsuda went sad at the ground then moved head real fast up.

"INCUBATORS YOU KILL MIDORI?" Chiaki Matsuda said with growls.

"Yes Matsuda-san" the snake rabbit said after "Midori is kill" the snake rabbit said again.

"I loved Midori like comfy chair... DICKBUTTS YOU WILL SUFFAR!" Chiaki Matsuda ponted and grunted.

Chiaki Matsuda flyd in to sky with kicks and hit evil meguca and the evil megucas sool gem flyd off and Chiaki Matsuda seed ugly Dildo face but it looked like scared tooo. the evil meguca scrumbled back to Incubators and Incubators went to laser Chiaki Matsuda but Wendy Cooldown throwed gold degle for Chiaki Matsuda to shot them in faces.

"Wendy take megucas and leave the city its time I have to kill the enemys and make evil go away from here forrest of timeline!" Chiaki Matsuda said to Wendy Cooldown and megucas.

"Chiaki Matsuda we fight!" megucas said and didnt go no where.

"Kong stop try do evrything lone fuck!" Wendy Cooldown growld and didnt go no where neither.

Chiaki Matsuda was fraid for first time. She didnt want nothing to happen to Wendy Cooldown because Wendy Cooldown was Chiaki Matsuda saw Incubators start to run like dildos to meguca and Wendy Cooldown and saw Wendy Cooldown and megucas run like retard to Incubators. Chiaki Matsuda got quiet then dropped wepon and said "I have to kill fast and bullets too slow" and started killing Incubators with gold hands.

Chiaki Matsuda was killing Incubators and barking necks and megucas and Wendy Cooldown was behind shooting at Incubators at front. Now Incubators got scarred and ranned back to the evil meguca who was at the door to the big tower that was big onto the sun and went around the evil meguca and got redy to fight again. then the evil meguca pressed the button that made the big tower glow and smoke.

"Chiaki Matsuda you let walspergisnite step on me and made me wichs familiar. Incubators came and put magic in me and made me live and strong and big now I make you and Wendy Cooldown wiches. Prepair to die" Mami Tomoe said.

"Mami Tomoe you are my pancake godess and I killed welsfargoknigt. Incubators magic is bad and made you tricked mumi stop the button and glowing." Chiaki Matsuda growld.

"NO!" Mami Tomoe angered back.

Mami Tomoe ribbond to Chiaki Matsuda and hit her with rifle and Chiaki Matsuda tried to grabe it but couldnt so she punched Mami Tomoe instead. Chiaki Matsuda and Mami Tomoe was fighting for life and death when the Incubators and megucas started shoting each other again. Wendy Cooldown got in front of megucas and saw the tower smoke and glow more and more like litning clouds.

Wendy Cooldown growl "It will explod!" so Wendy Cooldown and the megucas shot bullets and lasers at Incubators so all meguca could press the botton and make it stop. Then Wendy Cooldown went to a Incubators car and shoot all the Incubators in it and went to the top and used the ternimator. Wendy Cooldown made the ternimator shoot Incubators and bullets cut them in two and half.

Wendy Cooldown kept shooting Incubators and the rest of megucas got closer and closer to button to stop it. The Incubators laser at the megucas and made some die but no one cared becaus they had to do it. Then Incubators started coming out of the hug tower to stop the megucas. There was too much Incubators and megucas couldnt go to the button no more and the tower was all smoke and glow now expect for a little bit.

Chiaki Matsuda knew it was too late and megucas couldnt stop button. Chiaki Matsuda had barley time but was still fighting Mami Tomoe.

"Mumi it is time Im sorry" Chiaki Matsuda growld to Mami Tomoe.

"time for you to die Chiaki Matsuda!" Mami Tomoe said back.

"No Mumi" Chiaki Matsuda said then kicked Mami Tomoe in teh neck that was wiches kiss.

The magic flew off Mami Tomoes neck and landed and blowed up in a boom and Mami Tomoe stood and fall. "Chiaki-san.." Mami Tomoe said so Chiaki Matsuda got closer to the ground like Mami Tomoe.

"Incubators made me tricked bro Im sorry" Mami Tomoe said.

"I know Mumi but you are hero" Chiaki Matsuda said back to comfart Mami.

"Save megucas and Wendy Cooldown" Mami Tomoe said quiet like pain and breathed slower and slower

Chiaki Matsuda had Mami Tomoe and saw eyes shut and the breath stoped but Mami Tomoe had smiles on face.

Chiaki Matsuda let go Mami Tomoe and went up back on her feet and loked her head around and saw pancakes and platypuses and megucas then looked at glowy tower and knew what has to be done. "New waifu and megucas get back!" Chiaki Matsuda said out real loud so Wendy Cooldown fell off ternimator and went with megucas back to Chiaki Matsuda and ducked lasers and magics.

"Waifu take megucas on motorcycle and leave city. Make megucas safe waifu and nothing happen to them." Chiaki Matsuda said to Wendy Cooldown.

"But kong I fight!" Wendy Cooldown growld. "Fuck off go with megucas" Chiaki Matsuda said so Wendy Cooldown and megucas went on motorcycle.

Wendy Cooldown started on motorcycl and started to go but slow becaus she didnt want to. the Incubators saw and said "STOP THE MEGUCAS!" and went charge at motorcycle.

Chiaki Matsuda walked to wards Incubators and made fists with gontlets. Chiaki Matsuda punchd and hit Incubators in front but all Incubators in back shot lasers and magics. a Magic hit Chiaki Matsuda but she got up and killed more Incubators then a Incubator went at Chiaki Matsudas back and stabed her but Chiaki Matsuda got nife out and stabbed Incubator in brane. Incubators got close and hit Chiaki Matsuda body with lasers but Chiaki Matsuda kicked Incubators back.

Chiaki Matsuda kept fighting Incubators and put head up to tower and saw it go brite and break then turned around in last second and saw motorcycle in far off safe place and was happy. Wendy Cooldown and the megucas in the motorcycle saw the tower go like millon stars and fire and loud noises then the megucas went down but Wendy Cooldown kept going and didnt say nothing.

After the world was nice and megucas had new city and happy because the Incubators was gone and nobody was slave or sad. President Wendy Cooldown and megucas and platypuses and earth had peace and in the middle of new city was a statue that said "Chiaki Matsuda Saver of Meguca"