Magical Torturer Suzi Berry

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“What the hell, you can’t do this to me!“

I gotta laugh at the audacity of my prisoner. She’s actin’ all tough when she’s done up in chains in my little Spider Room. Must be at that age where taboos like stickin’ it to authority are so appealin’. Problem is that right now, I’m the authority she’s gotta deal with. So here I’m just standin’ over her and grinnin’. More than once I catch her stealin’ a few nervous glances at my unopened leather port full of toys, which I left off to the side.

“Accordin’ to yer contract, hon? Legally, I can,” I say, makin’ my voice extra sickly sweet while I wring my hands out. Katherine here is wearin’ the defiant face of someone who’s guilty as hell and doesn’t want to fess up about it. Somethin’ I know all too well. “Now, even fer charity fraud, which drags our good name through the mud, Suzi would forgive ya and let ya go.” I assure her, which is true – ya start actin’ like a person, and I’ll start treatin’ ya like one again. The brunette starts to sweat when I reach out and gently stroke her hair out of her eyes, makin’ her quiver. “But, see,” I tell her with a sad smile, “when I asked where the rest of the money was, ya went an’ lied to me.” She keeps sayin’ it’s with her folks. She’s like a kitten tryin’ to eat the kitty litter: adorable in how stupid she’s bein’.

And she’s still haughty about it, too. Actually tries to bite my hand. “Fuck you, you crazy cum junkie!” she snarls at me while I busy my other hand, “I don’t have to listen to-”

“Actually, ya really do,” I tell her after shovin’ a wad of webbin’ in her mouth to shut her up. Now she’s proper nervous. “I already caught ya lyin’ when ya said ya weren’t involved. That puts ya at strike three. Yes, three.” I say to clear up the confusion crossing her pretty face. “The first strike was stealin’ a kid’s lunch a few months back.”

This gets an exquisite look of shock from the gagged girl. I smile in a way that is in no way reassurin’, waggin’ my finger at her. “Suzi knows about that, too, hon,” I scold her, the girl’s eyes trained on my finger. “Ya can’t hide anythin’ from me. And ya could’ve walked out the door by now if only yad just fessed up sooner.” And then I lean in reeeeal close, whisperin’ into her ear and makin’ her flinch. “But ya didn’t, so that means I gotta punish ya.” I let her go and pull the gag from her mouth, gigglin’ a little at her heavy breathin’. “Well, I say ‘punish’, but really, ya oughta be thankin’ me fer doin’ this, since yer still a virgin~.”

Ahhh, good. She’s shrinkin’ back into her restraints instead of tuggin’ at them, as though she could escape me. She’s not terrified enough, though, because her shaky voice tells me, “it’s with my parents, I swear!”

I shake my head. “Ihihihi, at this point I gotta think that ya heard about my exploits and wanted in on the action.” There’s no helpin’ some people. I open up my bag of truth-gatherin’ instruments and pull somethin’ reverentially out of the side panel. “Really, all ya had to do was ask nicely.”

“I promise to be gentle, hon~,” I tell Katherine, who looks about ready to have an accident. After all, I am lickin’ the edge of the lovely little knife from my bag. The blade is faintly stained with the blood, sweat and tears of its old victims. Gives it has a sharp coppery taste. I repurpose the discarded gag as a blindfold, and let her wait it out a little. Now I get to the fun part, where I begin gently tracin’ the point down her forearm while she squirms. Leavin’ a little white line, and drawin’ a pitiful whimper from the obstinate young woman. “Gentle as an itsy, bitsy spider goin’ down the water spout~,” I say after leavin’ my first mark.

“And remember, the safe word is ‘cuckold’~.”


Annnnnd sent my report to the Warmaster: another successful interrogation by yers truly. That kitty was not so discretely enjoyin’ herself until I let my friends crawl over her. I gotta admit, there’s a certain kind of joy to be found in buildin’ them up to the brink, and then scarin’ it out of them. She fessed up soon after and confirmed my initial findings: she gave the money she stole from the fundraiser to her spineless little boy toy to hold onto. Really, she could have saved herself so much trouble if she’d just said so in the first place.

Ihihihi, he’s gonna have an interestin’ day, I’m sure. And an interestin’ talk with his girlfriend here.

As for Katherine, she’ll be picked up by someone else in a few, and probably have a disciplinary hearin’. Hopefully this time it’ll take. Breaks my poor little heart to have to do this to one of our own. But not so much that I feel bad about havin’ another bra for my throne~.

Checkin’ the time, I find that I… oh dear. I wasted a lot of it playin’ with that cat. I… guess I got a bit wrapped up in it.

Shoot. I was supposed to tell Her Majesty that she traumatized her girlfriend again, but now that her lunch break’s over, she won’t listen to anythin’ not concernin’ work. Unless she’s screwin’ with someone, or punishin’ someone, or punishin’ someone for screwin’ around. Like me, if I’m tellin’ her there’s a car show that weekend. She gave me a case of arachnophobia for wastin’ her time, sayin’ she already knew about it. Worst five minutes of my life in the last few years.

I make to start walkin’ up the stairs, and have a split-second realization that my shoes are tugging at each other just before I hit the ground in a roll, havin’ seen this nonsense enough.

I pick myself up and check my shoes. Somehow they got laced together. That’s the sort of thing Her Majesty would pull, but she’s supposed to be preparin’ for a meetin’ with Elly. She wouldn’t go out of her way to do somethin’ like this. Anyway, I undo the laces and tie them up right… and then they unravel and knot themselves together like before.

…The heck?

Okay, I don’t have time for this. I go through my transformation and start walkin’ up the stairs at a slow pace. There’s no laces on these things, so none of that juvenile nonsense is happening again. At least I’m not sneezin’ up live sea urchins like last night. That –hurt-.

I think somebody’s been screwin’ with me lately. And I got a few hunches about who it is, but right now they got me at a bad time.

Anyway, I put my arms behind my back and scrunch my face up in concentration. What to do, what to do… I can’t send my spider friends to pass anythin’ along, either, or she’ll ignore it. Last time I tried the Suzi Messaging Service to tell her somethin’ – that the Warmaster needed to see her – she stomped them out and told me that nothin’ was stoppin’ me from usin’ the phone like a normal person.

And she’s drivin’ her gal off to the airport in less than an hour. Umbrella girl won’t say anythin’ about it, knowin’ her. I promised I’d pass the message along, too.

Though really, what she needs is a harsh lecture to drive home that she needs to cut back on the drinks. If she can’t even do that much, she shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place.

…Oh, that might the answer right there.


My sentries along Elly’s route relay along to me the kid got off the bus a few minutes ago. Apparently she was havin’ lunch with Jael. That’s somethin’ I’ll have to tease ‘em about later. Right now, though, I have more important things to impress upon her. Stridin’ past the walls of dead witch flesh and chitin, I get to the lobby just as she enters. I run over to her and call out “hey, Elly?”

The poor kid shivers, probably expectin’ more lovin’ly applied teasin’, and on any other day she’d be right. Still, she smiles at me, sayin’ “hey, Suzi.” Brief, polite, and with the quiet hope that I’d leave her alone. Not that it ever worked on me before, but it’s especially not gonna work today.

“How was work?” I ask her, followin’ along so she knows I’m not goin’ anywhere anytime soon. She just grunts in response, a bit of whinin’ in her voice, which makes me giggle. “Yer on yer way to see Madge, ain’tcha?”

Elly’s rather alarmed at my all-knowingness of what she’s doin’, askin’, “how do you know that?”

“Ihi-“ I start, then cough. “Well, that’s not important right now,” I reply. She looks upset. “No, really, I got a favor to ask,” I insist. “Depends on the favor,” says a wary Elly.

“I need ya to pass along an important message to her,” I tell her.

“Mm?” Looks like Elly’s not quite payin’ attention.

I take a deep breath and let it out with a sigh, which gets Elly’s attention. And then I start talkin’ proper: “Tell her to cut back on drinkin’, cause she got really hammered last night and started emotionally abusin’ her girlfriend again.” Yeah, ya probably didn’t need to hear somethin’ that heavy today, Elly. I can’t blame ya for stoppin’ cold and starin’ at me like I said someone died. “Her Majesty started callin’ her a crybaby, a scaredy cat, a slacker. Criticized her fer not applyin’ herself – well, criticized her much more harshly than usual,” I amend, weavin’ my tale so to best get her fired up. “Aki’s a sweet gal and too timid to confront her about it. She called me up early this mornin’, bawlin’ her eyes out and said she hadn’t even mentioned it to Her Majesty yet. Asked me to talk to her about it and…” I scratch the back of my head, tryin’ to play off how bad I messed up for draggin’ out my play time, and not talkin’ to Her Majesty on her lunch break. “I kinda screwed up there. So I need ya to do it fer me.”

Alright, Elly’s thinkin’ about it now. “Why me?” she asks after a pause. Good, good, she’s askin’ questions. That means I got her interested.

“She’s a full on watch-wearin’ dildo, Elly,” I explain to her while fightin’ the urge to fidget. “She’s not gonna listen to me give advice about her personal life if I haven’t booked an appointment with her.” I give Elly a sad smile. “Otherwise I wouldn’t force ya into this.”

“Can’t you do it when she’s, well, not busy?” Elly asks, then hastily adds, “I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to help, but…” Aww, shoot, she’s losin’ confidence. “This seems like something you’d do better at than me.”

“Her Majesty’s drivin’ Aki to the airport right after yer appointment,” I tell her, hopin’ she gets how urgent this is. “There’s not enough time fer me to lecture her before then.” I put my hands on her shoulders and look her dead in the eyes, explainin’, “I want ‘em to reconcile this before Aki has to fly out. And yer the only one who can make it happen.”

“If I try to argue with her about it, she’ll get mad at me, won’t she?” she asks me. Well, it sounds more like she’s just fishin’ for weak excuses at this point. I can already see it in her eyes – she’s resolvin’ to go through with it no matter what I say, she just needs a little more of a push. Means I don’t have to sugarcoat my answers.

“She will, yeah,” I say, makin’ her frown a bit more. “Even if she’s not pissed off, Her Majesty likes to intimidate people durin’ her one-on-one sessions. If ya feel on edge while talkin’ to her, that may be because of her power.” Though it could be because Her Madjesty is pretty intimidatin’ when she’s all business. “She’s scary - that’s pretty much Her Majesty’s thing – but she needs an intervention of some kind, and she needs to acknowledge that. I’m worried about her and what she might do if she doesn’t cut back a little on the booze.”

And there it is, that little spark of indignation in her eyes. Elly’s frown is less of a frown and more of a look of grim purpose. “So what should I do?” she asks me.

“Tell her to stop doin’ that, and make sure she gets it,” I tell her, smilin’ a little at her determination while she nods along with everythin’ I say. “Remind her of what happened whenever ya get the chance, and don't let her scare ya into shuttin’ up about it. And if that means ya gotta get mad and yell at her, then get mad. Whatever it takes to get through to her.”

“I’ll do it,” Elly says without even hesitatin’. Aww, they grow up so fast.

“I knew I could depend on ya~,” I tell her, pattin’ her on the shoulders before lettin’ her go. “I’m sure you’ll do fine.” She mumbles a cute little “’nks” at me for that.

“Anywayyyy,” I say, streeeetchin’ back as I stop suppressin’ my baser urges and get ready to go, “that’s enough invadin’ of yer personal space to sate me fer today, soooo-”

“Is she going to be alright?” Elly asks me out of the blue.

“You mean Aki?”

Elly nods at me, and I smile a reassurin’ smile while bouncin’ on the balls of my feet. “She’ll be fine” I tell her, “as long as the first thing Her Majesty does is give her a proper apology. She’s not too hard to please.” This seems to relieve her. “But Madge has to make an effort to stop bullyin’ her,” I remind Elly. She nods with a slight smile before settin’ her face back into adorable seriousness and marchin’ off to Her Majesty’s office.

“Bye, Elly~!” I call after her before headin’ on my merry way.

She’ll be okay. If she’s mad enough, she won’t back down. And if Elly can’t do it… well, we can ship her back home much sooner.

Now, what’s next on my itinerary for today? I was supposed to help Winters, but she said she didn’t need it. Pretty sure I was gonna have some fuuuun with my friends, though I know at least most of them said they couldn’t make it because of sudden illness. Does that leave anyone else? I take out my little pocketbook of appointments and see what I have penned down.

A little after I flip to today’s date, all my writin’ disappears. It just fades away like it’s evaporatin’. And then, as though an invisible pen were writin’ it up, fancy cursive letters fill the page. The new entries repeatin’ similar messages in each time slot. Spend time with Cosette Hesselius. Love Cosette Hesselius. Worship Cosette Hesselius. Feed grapes to Cosette Hesselius. Let Cosette Hesselius examine you. Submit to Cosette Hesselius. Belong to Cosette Hesselius. Don’t try to escape from Cosette Hesselius. On and on like that. I get the feelin’ she didn’t take the suggestion of stayin’ friends with benefits very well after all.

So she’s the culprit of my recent embuggerances after all. She did say she was into curses, voodoo and other spooky occult stuff. And she certainly had enough opportunities to get some hair. I’ll just have to straighten her out, then. No Vindicare is going to get the better of me. Besides, I’m just not ready to commit to any sort of relationship anyway.

Yeah. Still not ready for that. Just… I can’t do it, and I wish Cozy would understand that.